“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill
There are moments in time that will always be remembered. The moment when I found out I was pregnant is one of these engrained moments.
I woke up at 5 AM to take the pregnancy test I purchased the day before- even though I knew in my being it would be positive-so, after waiting a year to be pregnant one could say I was a bit superstitious. I peed quietly in the dark as I waited for the answer. I could feel my whole energy lighting up with excitement.
This moment was over six years ago- and now with my second baby officially having turned one- I have been taking a moment to reflect on this grand job we called “motherhood”.
I can see it as this because I think it is important to recognize that it is a job. A job can be something that both challenges you and brings you joy! Our job as mothers really never ends- this is what I’ve learned as a 39-year-old adult who still leans tremendously upon her mother.
You are even working in the middle hours of the night! Last night involved nursing my younger one all throughout the night while rubbing my older daughter’s leg cramps.
It might seem a bit crazy to have two full-time jobs at once! I would have to agree. Confession: I feel a little bit crazy a lot of the time!
Fortunately, one of the benefits of running my own business is that I get to call the shots. Unlike many of the American mothers that may struggle with working in a corporate 9-to-5- having closets to pump in, having very minimal (if any) paid maternity leave- mothers are the ones struggling most in today’s society.
My original intention of this post was to talk about the mom/work life balance. But the fact is, finding this balance is pretty much impossible! This is because the idea of “balance“ means that one day you’ll magically get it all (nicely and neatly) compartmentalized, sorted and organized.
In order for a work life and home life to be completely balanced, it involves never having fun surprises. We all know the middle of the night illness that comes as a “fun surprise” or the other countless unexpected events that happen both at time & in running a business.
“The phrase “ working mother” is redundant.” – Jane Sillman
So does this seem depressing, overwhelming, frustrating? It can be. But mamas, here’s a thing that I have to share with you: It doesn’t have to be this way all the time. In fact one of the blessings of motherhood is showing us just how often and frequently things change.
From the time you found out you were pregnant, you’ve seen tremendous changes, you’ve had that 10 month journey of pregnancy, you have watched your body as if we were a science experiment, magically transforming. And even in the first year of spending time with your baby, you can watch each day as your baby grows in every way imaginable! If nothing else- motherhood represents constant change. As women, we must use life lessons to bring us greater wisdom. In that wisdom- greater power. And in that power- greater joy.
As mothers, you have learned that you can do hard things! You carried your baby all those months in your body, you did the seemingly impossible possible! Giving Birth!
Talk about an unforgettable moment in time! As a fun experiment: find the mother nearest to you- it doesn’t matter how long ago she gave birth to her children- if you ask her about it she can tell you an incredibly lengthy, detailed story of the birth.
I can do these hard things and, as a mother, change is inevitable!
Perhaps we can replace balance with connection & intuition.
“You go through chunks of time where you’re thinking, this is just impossible, oh this is impossible and then you just keep going and keep going and sort of do the impossible.” –
I’m fortunate enough to have had yoga before I became a mother. To understand that ultimately, the greatest wealth is health. Throughout both of my pregnancies I was acutely aware of what I needed to feel healthy and connected to Spirit. Now this doesn’t mean that I always do the following list, but the more I place daily emphasis on my wellness list the better & enjoyable both my jobs are.
I know that daily, I need movement. This can be physical yoga, this can be long walks in the woods, this can be bike riding, swimming, dancing, barre class or any sort of high intensity cardio- it can be anything- but every day I need physical movement.
Equally important is meditation, massage, listening to Abraham Hicks, laying down, drinking a special tincture- it’s about creating these moments in time to pause & drink in the beauty of the now! It helps my mind from running 1,000,000 miles/minute.
I have also learned that I’m still struggling with my time spent on technology! Running my own business and spending a lot of time on technology has me attached to my devices a lot more frequently than my Spirit wants. I have had noticeable downloads from my Spirit as well as physical body showing me when I am on my screen too much! One of the best things that I have enacted is having my phone shut off at 8 PM and limiting my social media usage to one hour a day. These two things greatly minimize the amount of time I am on my technical devices.
Finally, I would say the most crucial aspect to enjoying my job as a mother is finding as many moments as I can throughout the day where I just soak in the beauty of my children! Maybe you’re able to do this by watching their sweet faces after they have fallen asleep- or listening to their sweet giggles or watching how they learn to use and move their amazing bodies. And whatever way you were able to do this, stop, spend more moments reflecting on the gratitude that you feel simply for the gift of being a mother.
In the evenings before our oldest falls asleep we always list our daily gratitude. It’s a simple few moments that we have created, consciously focusing on the good. Believe me I can tell you at the end of the day it’s not always easy to focus on the good! It is always worth it, and the more consistent you are with anything, the easier that thing becomes. I want my daughters to learn and most importantly learn by seeing us (my husband and I) practice how we can focus on the good! It is in these moments that we are defining our life.
Motherhood is asking all of us right now to move out of the victim role and to become the victor! The creator of our own reality. To take that dream and make it a job, to take that dream and make it a project, to take that desire- that seed- and plant it, water it, and watch it grow into a beautiful flower.
Someone asked me recently if I have any advice to moms that want to start their own business. The short version is…not really! My only advice is to find those small moments to carve out the time that you know you need to keep you healthy! And to choose joy!
***And this is essentially the reason for creating Barefoot And Free, and offering a weekend to escape the mundane, a chance to rediscover your self, feeling connected to nature, feeling connected to your physical body, feeling connected to your spirit. A chance to feel truly free- plus kids are free. To all the mothers out there I wish you the happiest Mother’s Day and I see you…truly. I see you.