Editors Note: Collateral Beauty, a beautiful piece by one of our teacher’s, Courtney Welch, will be a 3 part series focusing on each of her letters. We hope you enjoy each piece.
Written By Courtney Welch
Part Two: My Letter to Time
The second letter was to time. It was written leading up to my brother Christopher’s birthday after his passing.
They say you heal all wounds. My body gets tense when I hear those words: Time heals all wounds. I don’t believe it. Grief never ends. I do believe it changes. I once read it’s a passage, not a place to stay. That makes more sense to me. As you continue to tick away, I’m afraid of you taking all the memories as some of them have already faded: what it was like to hug him, fight with him, to just know he was there. The simpler times. Another time. It feels like a lifetime ago.
In the space you’ve created since Christopher passed away, I’ve never been so thankful for Facebook’s On This Day as I have this past year. These small reminders of the way I could hear his voice with a clever comeback or his writing of I love you and miss you which now mean even more than when I originally received them.
I know you won’t stand still, and at some point there will be more time that my brother has been gone than he was here. I also know you’ve worked miracles. You were a gift even when it didn’t appear so. I still look back on the last year of his life and while there were many challenges with his health, there was also more love, more late night conversations about life, more hugs, more goodnights and of course there was more brother/sister bickering. If anything looking back on that time, I wish I would have been more present. To put down my phone and let you standstill because you were limited and that was all we had.
I know you’re a gift. And I’m going to try not to waste it.
In Loving Memory of Christopher Welch,
I miss you bud.